The scary thing about a failing marriage is that it rarely happens because of a massive explosion. It’s not always a "big" sin that destroys the foundation; more often, it’s the quiet, "innocent" habits that slowly turn passionate lovers into polite roommates. In the Song of Solomon 2:15, the Bible warns us to "Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards." Today, let’s look at why those "little foxes" are so dangerous and how we can guard our vineyards.
The Core Principle: The Danger of "Normal"
The danger of these habits is that they look normal. It looks "normal" to be on your phone at dinner. It looks "normal" to be too tired to talk before bed. But in the Kingdom of God, our marriages aren't called to be "normal"—they are called to be extraordinary reflections of Christ and the Church.
When we stop being vigilant, we allow "innocent" behaviors to dig a hole into our intimacy. Whether it’s letting work steal your best energy or allowing your children to become the center of your universe, these shifts happen a millimeter at a time.
20 Little Foxes: Are These Hiding in Your Home?
- Silent Phones, Silent Hearts: Going days without a "How are you?" text. A phone that stops ringing with affection is a heart losing connection.
- Sleeping Without Talking: Carrying heavy silence to bed. Each unresolved night widens the emotional gap.
- Letting Work Replace Home: Giving your job your "prime time" and your spouse your "leftovers."
- Talking More to Others: When a colleague or friend knows more about your daily struggles than your spouse does.
- Screens Replacing Faces: Prioritizing social media notifications over looking into your spouse’s eyes.
- Hurtful Jokes: Using "sarcasm" as a shield to wound your partner’s character.
- Mind-Reading Expectations: Assuming they "should just know" without you expressing your needs.
- Neglecting Physical Touch: Forgetting the power of a simple hug, holding hands, or a kiss.
- Eating Separately: Missing out on the bonding that happens over a shared meal.
- Child-Centered Marriage: Becoming "co-parents" and forgetting how to be "lovers."
- The Prayer Gap: Failing to kneel together. Spiritual distance eventually becomes emotional distance.
- Withholding Appreciation: Letting entitlement replace a simple "Thank you."
- The Poison of Comparison: Measuring your spouse against someone else’s "highlight reel" on social media.
- Postponing Romance: Waiting for "when things get less busy" to date your spouse.
- Ignoring Small Complaints: Waving off things that bother them until they eventually stop sharing altogether.
- Neglecting Appearance: Sending the message that your spouse no longer matters enough for you to look your best.
- Financial Secrecy: Treating money as "mine" instead of "ours," creating a wall of distrust.
- The "Small" Secret: Hidden chats or undisclosed purchases that build a hidden wall.
- The Death of Laughter: Forgetting how to play, joke, and be joyful together.
- Taking Each Other for Granted: Failing to notice the small daily sacrifices your partner makes.
Practical Steps & Prayer
If you’ve recognized these foxes, don't feel condemned. Feel challenged! Decide today to:
- Audit your time: Put the phone away 30 minutes before bed.
- Speak life: Find one thing to sincerely thank your spouse for today.
- Pray together: Even if it’s just for two minutes before you sleep.
Reflection Point: Which of these "little foxes" has been trying to sneak into your vineyard lately?
Share your thoughts below—let’s encourage one another to stay vigilant!